Low mood or perinatal depression? Knowing the difference

It is normal to have flat days in pregnancy and after birth. You might feel weepy, irritable, or just not yourself for a short while, especially when you are tired or stretched. In the first week or so after birth, many people get the 'baby blues', tearfulness and big emotions around days three to five, which usually passes on its own within a couple of weeks. None of this means something is wrong.

Perinatal depression is different. It is low mood that settles in and stays, most of the day, most days, for two weeks or more, during pregnancy or in the year after birth. It is more than feeling sad. You might lose interest or pleasure in things you used to enjoy, feel empty or numb, struggle to bond with your bump or baby, or be flooded with guilt and a sense that you are failing. It can affect sleep and appetite in either direction, drain your energy, and make it hard to concentrate or make decisions. Some people feel tearful; others feel switched off and find they cannot cry at all.

A few things make this harder to spot. Tiredness and changes in appetite and sleep come with pregnancy and a new baby anyway, so the signs can hide in plain sight. Many people also stay quiet because they feel ashamed, or fear being judged as not coping or not loving their baby. Please hear this clearly: perinatal depression is a common health condition, not a flaw or a failure, and it is no reflection of how much you love your child. It is also very treatable.

If you recognise yourself here, the most helpful thing you can do is tell someone, your midwife, health visitor, or GP. You may be asked a couple of gentle questions about your mood; answering honestly helps you get the right support. Treatment might include talking therapies such as CBT, support from a specialist perinatal mental health team, and sometimes medication, some of which can be used in pregnancy and while breastfeeding. The right path is the one that fits you, decided together.

There is one thing we always want you to know. If you ever have thoughts of harming yourself, feel you cannot keep going, or have frightening or unusual thoughts that worry you, please seek help straight away, your midwife or GP, 111, or in an emergency 999. These thoughts can be part of an illness that responds to treatment, and reaching out is the bravest and most loving thing you can do.