Speaking up for yourself in maternity care

You know your body and your baby better than anyone. Good maternity care is a partnership: your midwives and doctors bring clinical knowledge, and you bring lived experience of how you feel and what matters to you. When those two things meet as equals, you get safer, kinder care. Speaking up isn't being difficult, it's part of staying safe.

A simple way to remember what to ask is BRAIN. Benefits, what are the benefits of this? Risks, what are the risks? Alternatives, what else could we do? Intuition, what does my gut say? Nothing, what happens if we wait or do nothing right now? You can use these five questions for anything from a sweep to an induction to a change in your care plan.

It can help to bring someone with you, a partner, friend, doula, or family member, whose job is simply to listen and take notes. Two sets of ears are better than one, especially when you're tired or in pain. Write your questions down before the appointment, and don't be afraid to say, 'Can you give me a moment to think about that?' You are allowed to take your time.

If you feel you're not being listened to, you can ask calmly and clearly: 'I don't feel I'm being heard, can we slow down?' You can ask for a second opinion, ask to speak to a senior midwife or the consultant, or ask for things to be explained again in plain language. None of this will offend a good professional, it's exactly what they want you to do.

Trust how you feel. If something doesn't seem right with you or your baby, reduced movements, pain that worries you, a feeling that something is off, say so, every time, even if you've already mentioned it. Repeating yourself is not a nuisance. You are never wasting anyone's time by checking on your safety.

Every birthing person deserves to be treated with respect, listened to, and involved in decisions about their own care, whatever your background, body, or skin tone. If that isn't happening, it's reasonable to name it and ask for better.