Trusting your instincts and being heard

You are the expert on your own body. You live in it every minute of every day, and you notice the small shifts that no scan or chart can show. When something feels wrong, even if you cannot explain why, even if a test came back fine, that feeling is real information, and good maternity care takes it seriously. This guide is about turning that instinct into words, and making sure those words land.

Start by saying it plainly. You do not need medical language. 'Something does not feel right,' 'This is not normal for me,' or 'I am worried and I want to be checked' are all complete, valid reasons to be seen. If it helps, write your concern down before you call or arrive, so that nerves do not shrink it. Bring your maternity notes or app, and if you can, bring someone with you who can speak up alongside you.

Sometimes you may feel brushed off, rushed, or told to wait when your gut says otherwise. If that happens, it is okay to be persistent and specific. Try: 'I understand, but I am still worried, can you explain why you are not concerned?' or 'I would like this written in my notes, please,' or 'Can I have a second opinion?' Asking for your concern and the response to be documented is reasonable and often changes how seriously it is taken. You are not being difficult; you are being your own advocate.

This matters especially because Black women in the UK are several times more likely, and Asian and mixed-heritage women more likely, to die in pregnancy and the year after birth than white women, and being dismissed or not listened to is part of why. Naming that is not about frightening you; it is about arming you. The Five X More campaign exists precisely so that you know your voice carries weight. You have every right to ask questions, to decline or delay anything until it is explained, and to be treated with respect whatever your background or skin tone.

A few practical phrases worth keeping ready. To get clarity: 'What are my options, and what happens if we do nothing?' To slow things down: 'I need a moment to understand this before I agree.' To escalate: 'I would like to speak to the midwife in charge, or a senior doctor.' None of these are rude. They are the everyday tools of a person who is taking an active part in their own care, which is exactly what we want you to do.

Finally, remember that being heard is a two-way relationship, and most of the time it works well. Build it where you can, get to know your midwife, ask their name, tell them your worries early. But on the days it does not work, you have the right to keep asking until someone listens, to bring an advocate, and to be safe. This is placeholder content for now, to be reviewed and strengthened by our midwife, Dumebi, but your right to be heard is not a placeholder. It is yours.